Imposter syndrome is a term that I have mixed feelings about, and I prefer to describe it as imposter thinking.
Traditionally, imposter syndrome has been defined as an inability to internalise your accomplishments, attributing your successes to luck or being in the right place at the right time, and feeling that other people have an overinflated view of you. You can feel like a fraud and fear that you will be found out.
Labelling it as a syndrome doesn’t sit comfortably with me. It is a label which can sometimes be attached by the workplace to shift responsibility for excessive workload/expectations onto the individual, with the suggestion that an inability to cope is because of some personal deficiency rather than a systemic issue which needs attention. And sometimes it can reflect a lack of diversity within a workplace which hasn’t recognised and/or addressed this.
I use the term ‘imposter thinking’ as I am referring to the situation whereby our own thought processes are getting in our way. There is a strong link with a tendency to perfectionism; rather than seeing what has been achieved, there can be a much larger focus on what hasn’t been achieved and then associated self-criticism as your mind monkeys go into over-drive.
Much like we will get home at the end of a day and focus on that one consultation that didn’t go well, rather than recalling all the positive interactions that we had and the difference we made for those patients.
Some of the impacts of this type of thinking include:
• Exhaustion from over-performing, high expectations
• Lack of boundaries, work spilling into personal time, overwhelm
• Don’t speak up/offer opinion and avoid challenges/new opportunities
• Remain stuck in same job - fear of not being competent enough to step up/change role
• Procrastination, difficulties prioritising and decision-making
• Comparisonitis, fester on feedback, deflect acknowledgement
It is postulated that 70% of people at some point in their lives have imposter tendencies, especially during times of transition or when posed with new challenging tasks, but it can occur at any time and at any stage in your career, and doctors are no exception.
So, if this resonates and you think you may be experiencing some imposter thinking, what can help? Here are a few tips:
Look at the evidence - I mean really look. In the example above, what went well in your day? Which situations did you manage well, probably without even realising it? What positive feedback did you get from your patients that you perhaps haven’t acknowledge to yourself?
Talk about it – you will be surprised how many of your colleagues will be able to relate! Likewise asking trusted colleagues for feedback can also be a helpful way to challenge your own perception.
Challenge your definition and view of ‘failure’: what went well and what will you do differently next time?
Self-doubt is a normal emotion, we will all have times when we feel self-doubt, and that’s OK. For example, junior doctors in training can feel like they're starting again each time they change role; it is also common in senior doctors as they take on more responsibility and get little or no feedback.
Celebrate your successes – when you find yourself dwelling on a negative, shift your focus to what went well. Name your successes, write them down, say them out loud - no matter their size.
Perfectionism deserves more time, but start to recognise when this trait is kicking in and ask yourself how much gain will come from all that extra effort. What would serve you better?
Become aware of the way you speak to yourself and the specific language, for example: I should… (just for the record, this is one to look out for in any situation), I’m just..., Well, I’m no expert but…
Focus on your future success – if you have an upcoming situation which you know is likely to spark these feelings, focus your thoughts on what success is for you in this scenario. Think about this in some detail and imagine it playing out exactly as you would like.
Self-compassion – it is always worth asking yourself how you would talk to a friend in this situation – and then apply this to yourself.
When we’re not thriving in our role, it can be difficult to work out what’s at the crux of the problem and often it all becomes entwined. But it is always worth being aware of the possibility of imposter thinking; this may only be recognised as you talk to someone and get your thoughts out of your head, but then you can start to challenge this and move forwards.